A

Stephen's Final Journey Home

Sun, 18 Oct 2009 00:26:04 GMT

I got the time off to go to Stephen Gately's funeral - they realised how important it was to me to go and didn't object. And so I travelled the 40 minutes into Dublin City on the LUAS and walked through an area of Dublin I generally try to rigidly avoid (Sheriff Street) where Stephen grew up on the way to get to the chuch just up from there on Seville Street. As expected, the occasion was rather sombre. Upon arriving I managed to get a place right at the barrier and listened to the mass from the Tannoys all around. There was quite a sizeable turn out, many of whom were locals.
It was saddening walking up to the chuch - in order to get there I had to walk past the primary school he went to up towards the chuch where he made his Confirmation, and now his funeral. On the way I was thinking about how very often he would have walked these streets, running home from school excited after performing in a play or singing and then after his Confirmation, the joy and anticipation he must have felt going up and down this road. Walking back down that same road on the way home after his Boyzone audition wondering what the future held. He'll never to be able to create more of these memories, and it pains me to refer to him in the past tense. He should still be here, it's not right without him.
The most touching thing I saw at the funeral was an auld Dublin man, probably in his 50's, with a really strong inner city Dublin accent, place an Ireland jersey on the barrier and claiming that it was "for Stephen from Boyzone, it's for him." It was blatantly apparent that this guy wasn't a Boyzone fan, you wouldn't find him down the front of one of their concerts, but like many other Dubliners - particularly myself and other Dubliners from working class areas, he considered Stephen one of his own. This, coupled with the thoughts of Stephen roaming these streets, set off the water works.
Tears flowed and there was nothing I could do to stop them. I brought black sunglasses (I was expecting to be teary, but not to this extent) in a failed attempt to hide my weeping. The tears were streaming down my face - it couldn't have been more obvious. Then when Ronan read the eulogy, and began crying during it that hit me pretty hard. Everything seemed to take on some sense of morbidity. I saw young children across the road, probably the same age as me when I discovered Boyzone, and realised they'd never have Stephen Gately in their lives. They'd never truely understood why he was so important to so many people.
When Ronan began singing it felt like the Danube was trying to escape from my eyes. It was so painful, so difficult. I couldn't look anywhere - everything made me cry. I knew Stephen been down these streets many times, and that he'd have never ever suspected that only at the age of 33 his funeral would be held here. Cue more rapturous crying.
When the funeral ended the hearse past by us with "OUR STEO" as the flowers at the side of his coffin, and white roses were thrown as a mark of respect. I bet Stephen never imagined his funeral day would be like that. Shortly after the hearse Stephen's family followed, then each individual member of Boyzone's cars. Understandably Ronan sat in the back of his car shying away from the gazing public, Keith sat in the front passenger seat of his car, as did Louis Walsh, who was then followed by each member of Westlife. They were a few inches away from me, I should've felt some excitement but I didn't. Yeah, so they're famous, but they're not Stephen Gately and they never will be. I had a permanent lump in my throat for the rest of the day.
I'm still sort of numb to this all. It seems so surreal. This shouldn't have happened, Stephen should still be here with us setting an example for the kids from Sheriff Street, talking to adoring fans and enjoying the essence of his young life. I really do feel like I've lost a close family member and that this is something I'll never get over. It just doesn't make sense to me that he's gone, it never will.

Goodbye forever, Steo x

RIP Stephen

Sat, 17 Oct 2009 00:14:54 GMT

When I was three or four my interest in music was flourishing, one of my most prominent childhood memories is of watching Boyzone on TV and deciding that I would infact marry Stephen Gately. He was my 'favourite'. Infact, I would go so far as to say Boyzone were definitely a formulative part of my childhood, I became fascinated by this world of singing, playing live and the aul tapes. I got my first walkman for the Boyzone tapes I owned, and watched the TV in anticipation of a Boyzone interview or music video. They were the first loves of my life I guess (yes, really.) Something about them really registered with me, whether it'd be because they were the 'lads from up the road' (not really, but once you're from any part of Dublin you're referred to as 'living up the road'), or that they gave me the belief that being from a rather unpopular and not particularly successful part of Dublin that I could still make something of my life. They got me singing.
Stephen always meant the most to me. he just seemed so approachable, genuine. A real person who wasn't blinded by the lights of fame and treated everyone equally. That, and I fancied him quite a bit! I remember the day his homosexuality was revealed to the nation, on the cover of a national newspaper. It only bothered me because I then realised that I would indeed never marry him, but at the same time I was happy for him. It was very obvious after this that he seemed a lot more content and comfortable with who he was, which in turn made me happy. I was 7.
I dreamed of seeing Boyzone live, but this was snatched away from me - my older brother and my parents went to see them. In foresight they rightly decided that I was too young to attend, but I was livid at the time. Whenever Boyzone's videos came on I'd always look for Stephen. In June 2008 I got my chance to see Boyzone live in Dublin's RDS. I was near the front, and mainly my gaze was fixed on Stephen (I'm aware this is probably starting to sound a bit creepy, it's not intentional!). All of the lads were genuinely thankful for the opportunity to perform again, and for the fans support. I left elated after seeing them, filled with excitement after fulfilling a childhood dream. Then I thought "next on the agenda, meet Stephen Gately!" As per usual, after seeing Boyzone the feeling of "I can succeed at anything!" returned, and my hope was renewed. I was sure I'd eventually meet Stephen. I was 16.
A week later I went to Shane Lynch's book sigining, and looked in awe at one of the popstars I'd idolised from childhood. He signed my book, while I was lost in a wave of joy and shock. I was intimidated by him, he just seemed so larger than life, but so friendly and nice. Most endearingly, he still had his strong Dublin accent - which as a fellow Dubliner was definitely music to my ears and didn't make me feel so far removed or seperated from him due to his celebrity status.
I, once again, left feeling elated, still harbouring the dream that I'd meet Stephen Gately. It was always on the agenda, I never really stopped idolising him. He always seemed to be somewhat present in my life - be it through a Boyzone song or a photograph. He was a prominent part of my childhood, as were the rest of Boyzone, and always will be.
I'm truely heart-broken by his passing. I never knew him, but as is the nature of celebrity I always felt I did in a distant way. Now I'm not even sure if I can make it to his funeral tomorrow due to work. I really want to say goodbye to the man who meant so much to me, and I feel like a cheat for not going - he always made time for other people. I'm 17.
I miss you, Steo x

Sooooooooo.....

Fri, 08 May 2009 17:59:14 GMT

If you like an amazing voice and equally excellent music you should listen to Florence and the Machine :)

Opinions? :)

If You See One Film...

Wed, 14 Jan 2009 20:05:25 GMT

this year, then let it be Die Welle. I saw it in the IFI in November, it's nothing short of excellent. It's in German, but there's subtitles in English if you don't speak German. I've just ordered the DVD from play.com. Here's the trailer:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZaklzYxZhA

And if you hear one band, let it be White Lies. They're like a modern day Joy Division (though I do believe Joy Division's music is timeless) .

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TsALkfPAN-0

Andddd, I've finally finished my UK college app. I've applied for:
Buckinghamshire New University
Coventry University
De Montfort University
University of Glamorgan, Cardiff and Pontypridd
and York St John University
fingers crossed!

Sun, 26 Oct 2008 10:35:12 GMT

Taken from rubyporcelina :)

Were you happy when you woke up today? Indifferent

Honestly, do you like anybody? Yes.

Do you hate the last person you kissed? Not hate, just an intense disliking.

If your being extremely quiet whats it mean? That I have something on my mind.

Looking forward to anything? Yep, going to another gig in a week :D

Last time you were confused? Friday, there were about 10 conversations going on at one.

What is your current mood? Very, very tired.

What color shirt are you wearing? Pajamas

Do you get along with girls? The ones I like.

How old do you want to be when you have kids? I don't want kids.

Would you tattoo someone's name on your body? Yes (Morrissey, for example)

Where is your most ticklish spot? idk

Would you change yourself for the person you love? *sigh*

Do you think best friends could be replaced? In relation to my current "best friends" in school then yes.

If you could pack up and leave your life now to move away, would you? Definately.

Do you think a lot of people think bad things about you? Probably

Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you they loved you? Yup

Last person you talked to on the phone? Cathy

First person to text you today? Edelle

Do you want to get married & have children one day? Nah

Would you date someone 20 years older? No.

Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? In some cases, yes.

Do you tend to fall for people easily? Yep :/

Have you ever liked someone that treated you bad? ...

Three words to explain why you last threw up: McDonald's eww

Was today a good day? I don't know, I've only just woken up.

Plans for tomorrow? Go to the library to do study :/

Is there anybody you just wish would fall off the planet? Yup

Looking forward to the next couple months? I guess.

What are you saving your money up for right now? Gigs

Have you changed this year? According to other people, yes.

Do you drink water? All the damn time.

Sometimes I lose all faith in humanity

Thu, 03 Jul 2008 17:10:31 GMT

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/manchester/7486280.stm

http://www.nme.com/news/nirvana/37013

Tue, 17 Jun 2008 20:53:27 GMT

I'm back from Italy. I'm tired, and my hate for Ireland has never been so prominent.

NEW DRESS!

Tue, 20 May 2008 09:50:21 GMT

In my new eco-friendly kick, and also frequently watching "Blood, Sweat and T-Shirts" I realise that I now feel an incredible amount of guilt when I go clothes shopping. These people are working in sweatshops, some living in them, in absolutely appalling conditions. I don't want to support any of that, it's cruelty to the worst degree. So, I've now started swapping (or as it's known among cool types, "swishing") my clothes. And, today, I just got a new dress in the post which I got in exchange for some black knee-length shorts that I found that I never wear.

I love it! It fits like a gem, I'll definitely be wearing it when I go to Milan in the next few weeks. I'm also currently watching a video of Louis Theroux becoming a rapper, it's beyond hilarious!

Hello Lovelys!

Sat, 03 May 2008 13:53:57 GMT

Did some well deserved shopping yesterday! Although due to money shortages only got two things but they are BRILLIANT! (Kind of)

1)

Like these, except much darker and the little strap is at the back and there's a metallic design at the toe.

2)

I have wanted these for ages! They're not brand name, but the only difference is the name's not on the side and they're a fraction of the brand price.

Do you like free, legal music?

Thu, 01 May 2008 13:28:37 GMT

Hello everyone :)
It appears that as of late a lot of musicians, some well known and some not so much, have been allowing people to download some of their music (legally) for free. I figured you guys would appreciate it. Here you go:

1) Coldplay - Violet Hill
Get the first single, 'Violet Hill', from their new album, 'Viva La Vida or Death And All His Friends', now. Remember to be quick, this download is limited to one week only, starting from 30 April 2008, for free download and after that you'll have to pay to download it. To be honest, I think so far that this is my favourite Coldplay song. Go to http://www.coldplay.com/ and click 'Song'. Some e-mail servies have difficulty recieving it. All you have to do to be sure you get it is to save info@coldplay.com in your address. Enjoy, and happy listening!

2) The Charlatans - You Cross My Path
The Charlatans are allowing people to download their entire new album completely free. If you prefer, you can also download individual tracks from the album. I highly recommend 'Oh! Vanity', 'Bad Days' and 'This Is The End.' http://www.xfm.co.uk/news/2008/download-charlatans-new-album-for-free

3) Nine Inch Nails - The first 9 tracks from the Ghosts I-IV collection.
Simply go to the following page, http://ghosts.nin.com/main/order_options, tick the 'Free Download' box, click 'continue', fill in your info and await the greatness that will arrive in your inbox.

4) CSS - Rat is Rage (Dead)
Get a taster of their much anticipated second album, 'Donkey'. http://csshurts.com/.

5) Free Eircom Music Download, Courtesy of 'Sure Girl' Deodorant.
Go to http://redemption.dx3.net/surepromotion/voucher/giveaway to get your voucher code, you'll be asked your email address and your first and last name. You'll be given a choice of what song you want from a selection that's been picked by eircom specifically for this offer. Artists included are Paolo Nutini, Green Day, Goo Goo Dolls, Hard-Fi and more. When you recieve your voucher code check your bulk messages. Enjoy!

Hopefully this has been of some use to someone. Enjoy!

Help Meeeeee

Mon, 24 Mar 2008 21:06:24 GMT

Decisions, descisions, decisions. I have to start making decisions for college courses. All I know for sure is I want to be involved in media, and now this is where your help comes in: No matter how little (or much) you know me PLEASE choose one of the following headings you think I'd be wise to choose for college, you may not know me that well but please give your input. And, if possible, a brief explaination as to why you think I'd be good in that field of media.

- Journalism
- Music Production and Management
- Radio Production
- Television Operations and Production

Your input, whoever you are, would be greatly appreciated.

Face For The Radio

Mon, 03 Dec 2007 14:50:10 GMT

I need to get away. No, really. I'm sick of my surroundings. It's the same everyday, with the same people, same routine. I'm planning to go to London for a week sometime in June or July. Sometime during that week I'm hoping to go to Dryburgh in Dundee (Scotland) for about 2 days, a band I like called The View are from there and have recorded just about all of their videos there. I can't afford Ukiah, so Dryburgh's the next best thing! And obviously, London for shopping. I'm hoping there'll be some good gigs on too. :D
New favourite song: http://www.youtube.com/watch ?v=_WHIVGy951U I've been listening to it religiously for the past few weeks, I just think it's really good!
One of the girls in my class is pregnant, unsurprsingly. I've known her since she was 12 and she's totally milking it. She's pissing off the teachers more than she usually does because she knows she can get away with it. And there's about a million other things but I'm really not in the mood for typing them. I'm just sick of the same people, the lack of spontaneity. London (and Dryburgh!) here I come! haha

There Is No Night

Mon, 29 Oct 2007 00:15:48 GMT

I just got back from a visit to the Hugh Lane Municipal Art Gallery in Dublin City, and I really do love that gallery. I had some art homework to do, which involved going to that gallery and copying 8 of the impressionists paintings. I had my sketch pad, of course, and was just doing brief sketches and I realised a hell of a lot of people like to look over your shoulder at what you're drawing. There were two old women who were having an argument about Manet and Monet, who are both to completely different artists. It frequently happens that people think they're the same artist, but they're not. As one of them was looking at my artwork I looked up and smiled politely, as you do. She came up and was asking me was I college student etc. I started telling them the differences between Manet and Monet, because, and I don't know why, but it really gets on my nerves when people think they're the same. I was talking to them briefly, they were both nice.
I came across a painting of which I had a great interest in, it's called 'There Is No Night' and it's by Jack B Yeats. If any of you of familair with the poetry of William Butler Yeats you'll know they're brothers. One talented family, that's for sure. Here's a miniature picture of the painting, though it's pretty useless having it so small.

I wandered through, and some of the painting were absoultely brilliant. At the back of the gallery is the Francis Bacon studio, it's a spacious area. However, his actual studio is a completely different story. It was a mess, a complete and utter mess. And he never used pallettes, he mixed paint on the doors, the walls, the back of canvases. It also turns out he was a homosexual, and he had very little interest in the female body. Apparently he went through a deep deppression, due to two of his lovers commiting suicide. His first male lover was actally burguling Fancis's home, and Francis gave him two options; "go back to prison, or sleep with me." Obviously the burglar chose the latter. When Francis was 16 he was banished from his family's house in Kildare, because he was caught wearing his mother's underwear. His father was a military man, and believed Francis was bringing shame on the family so Francis went to London. There's so much more I'm leaving out, it's just incredible. Check out the information about his gallery in Dublin of you're interested:
http://www.hughlane.ie/fb_studio/index.html
There was a security telling e about Francis Bacon, and I was uncomfortable non the less. When I go to art galleries I like to be left to my own devices.

Ecclesiastes

Sat, 13 Oct 2007 01:15:57 GMT

God, you could grow to love, it, God-fearing, God-
chosen purist little puritan that,
for all your wiles and smiles, you are (the
dank churches, the empty streets, the shipyard silence, the tied-up swings) and
shelter your cold heart from the heat
of the world, from woman-inquisition, from the
bright eyes of children. Yes, you could
wear black, drink water, nourish a fierce zeal
with locusts and wild honey, and not
feel called upon to understand and forgive
but only to speak with a bleak
afflatus, and love the January rains when they
darken the dark doors and sink hard
into the Antrim hills, the bog meadows, the heaped
graves of your fathers. Bury that red
bandana and stick, that banjo; this is your
country, close one eye and be king.
Your people await you, their heavy washing
flaps for you in the housing estates -
a credulous people. God, you could do it, God
help you, stand on a corner stiff
with rhetoric, promising nothing under the sun.

It's by Derek Mahon, and is so blatantly addressed to Ian Paisley. I think I've found a favourite poet in Derek Mahon.

To be expected?

Sat, 25 Aug 2007 23:03:34 GMT

I was just looking through the Dolce & Gabbana fall/winter 2007 collection, inspired by my brother's girlfriend telling me that when I go back to Italy she can show me some of the designer shops I missed out on last time. And since she knows how lacking in money I am, she can show me some relatively cheap latest-season designer stuff when I return.

Most of their stuff looked quite classy, as expected. After consulting my fashion bible, which surprisingly enough isn't Vogue, while I was looking at the latest collections from multiple designers, and apparently greys are going to be in, time to go shopping! I've found my dislike towards luminous striped clothing has risen in the past week, due to just about every teenage girl in Dublin chosing it as their style. THEY'RE ALL WEARING THE SAME JUMPERS. With the exact same design, and the exact same brand from the exact same shop. WHY?!

So, after over two years of only going to one concert (AFI), and those two years being spent concertless in order to save to see AFI in concert I figure I should go to some sort of show, to 'brighten up' my returning to school. I can't decide between seeing 'The Panel', which is my favourite TV show (look it up on YouTube) live or Ardal O' Hanlon (of Father Ted fame) live. If I see Ardal O' Hanlon there'll be no support act (thank fuck) as he'll be recording his live DVD at the show I may or may not be going to, plus tickets are cheaper than going to see The Panel and I'm still saving to see Blaqk Audio. I'll have to find some way of convincing my sister to go with me, I turned down going to see Amy Winehouse with her a few weeks ago, due to the tickets being E50 and I'm still saving. I'll see what I can do. This post has probably been of no interest to you; kudos to you if you've actually read the whole thing!

It's true, I find the look becoming...

Sat, 04 Aug 2007 21:46:06 GMT

I think I have just fallen in love. Anyone else know about Chanel's fashion show at Santa Monica airport? Seen the pictures? THEY ARE STUNNING. (Capitalized for extra dramatization.) They had a boeing 747 with a 'Chanel Airlines' logo on the side, and of course the models exited the plane straight onto the catwalk. Not surprisingly, the Lohan was there.

Yoursilenceissweet

Fri, 13 Jul 2007 18:34:58 GMT

Is it wrong that I want to wear this outfit?

I fear I may end up being a bit of a Boy George look-a-like if I do.
I can't believe the Lynch sisters still sound good and have a musical career after B*Witched, not expected at all.